I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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