ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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