i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
