when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Do vagina's smell?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
