She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i think im in europe. pls send help
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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