GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
is wine microwaveable?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
