used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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