Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
