U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize