i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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