this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
