i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
