The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
