whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
