maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize