It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
