you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
