Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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