One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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