i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
