u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Girls should come with a carfax report
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
