yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize