It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
