Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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