We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
