All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
