Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
There r osticjed everywhere
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
this is an emotional support booty call
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
