I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
