So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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