i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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