I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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