Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
