He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
