So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize