Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
