that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
