You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
