i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
