He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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