ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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