i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize