Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
