I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
