is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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