I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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