This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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