some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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