when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I touched a dick in church today
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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