OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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