call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
