i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
