i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Everyone says I win the strip club
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize