Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
