I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize