ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
