marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
