Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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