This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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