And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
