I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
