I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
