I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I have aggressive nipples.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
