No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
cat food counts as protein by the way
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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