he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
