So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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