apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
