im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
