I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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