I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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