i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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