I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
