wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
